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Visit Robert in Ohio's column >>

ROBERT IN OHIO

Independent with strong values and political opinions
Articles Posted: 19  Links Seeded: 41
Member Since: 11/2010  Last Seen: 5/17/2012

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You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!

Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:28 PM EST
humor, sarcasm, political-incorrect
By Robert in Ohio
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I received this collection of anecdotal quips and pieces of folk knowledge in the email and while I am unsure of its origin, it made me laugh and I hope it does the same for all who read it.

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

                Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

                Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? 

                They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

                You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? 

                Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? 

            Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? 

                A Stick 

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

                Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? 

                Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? 

            Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? 

            Spoiled Milk. 

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? 

                Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? 

            A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? 

            Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? 

                Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? 

            Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? 

            Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? 

            Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!

                The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? 

            Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? 

            A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!

            A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? 

            Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

Now, admit it... at least one of these made you smile.

And remember -------   Support bacteria!!!……….It’s the only culture some people have.

Hope this provided a little levity and perhaps a smile or a chuckle to lighten the mood.

Your comments and remarks are welcome and appreciated

  • Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.

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Published to:

  • Robert in Ohio's Column, All of Newsvine
  • Groups: Centervine, Mad As Hell!! Aren't You??, The Anti-Moron League, True Americans
  • Regions: none
  • Public Discussion (9)
Robert in Ohio

I received this collection in an email and it made me laugh

There is lots of bad news available and I thought a humorous article might lighten everyone's mode and perhaps even bring a smile or a chuckle to some

Please let me know what you think and provide your own little humorous quips for the audience to share

  • 1 vote
Reply#1 - Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:31 PM EST
Robert in Ohio

  • 2 votes
Reply#2 - Wed Feb 15, 2012 8:54 PM EST
AmericaRepublic

good stuff..lol....nice artcle robert...lol

  • 2 votes
#2.1 - Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:04 PM EST
Robert in Ohio

A R

Thanks a lot for stopping by

It seems that not many people needed a laugh after all

  • 1 vote
#2.2 - Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:26 AM EST
AmericaRepublic

no problem robert....some peole just don't laugh..it's crazy but true..lol..thought you did great..this day and age we need more of it..

  • 1 vote
#2.3 - Thu Feb 16, 2012 10:03 PM EST
Reply
Future History

I dare you to go to a biker bar and tell that Harley joke. 14 and 16 were good too.

    Reply#3 - Thu Feb 16, 2012 2:25 PM EST
    Robert in Ohio

    Future History

    I lived in Milwaukee (Home of Harley) for several years and heard many bikers bring forth that one after a few beers

    Thanks for stopping by

    • 1 vote
    #3.1 - Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:41 PM EST
    Reply
    JayMack

    Was worth reading....thank you.

      Reply#4 - Thu Feb 16, 2012 9:38 PM EST
      Robert in Ohio

      JayMack

      Thanks for stopping by

        #4.1 - Fri Feb 17, 2012 7:53 AM EST
        Reply
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